Every relationship has its ups and downs, and conflict is an essential component. Learning how to handle conflict rather than wishing it away is a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence. When conflict is mismanaged, the chances are high that you will cause significant harm to your relationships. However, when you learn how to handle conflict in a positive and respective manner properly, you can create opportunities for strengthening relationship bonds. Learning how to resolve disputes is vital for improving your emotional intelligence and keeping both your professional and personal relationships strong.
Understanding the Cause of Conflict
Conflict can arise because of both large and small differences between people. When people disagree over motivations, ideas, values, perceptions, or desires, they are bound to enter into conflict. A conflict can be fueled by small differences, but at the center of the conflict, there is usually a more deep-seated personal need. Those needs can be anything from safety to respect and everything in between.
How to Perceive Conflict
People perceive conflict differently. Some people will do everything they can to avoid conflict because of the painful memories that are associated with them. If you previously had unhealthy relationships, your perception of conflict could be that it all ends up in disagreements. When you have conflict in relationships, it is often viewed as being demoralizing, humiliating, dangerous, and even something to be feared. In the event that you had a childhood experience that left you feeling powerless or out of control, conflict may be traumatizing for you.
If you view conflict as being dangerous, most likely your prophecy will be self-fulfilled. If you enter into a conflict while feeling threatened, it can become more challenging to handle the conflict in a healthy manner. There is a high chance that you will either blow up in anger or completely shut down
Conflict Resolution Skills
If you want to resolve a conflict successfully, then you need to start practicing two core skills. The first is the ability to reduce stress quickly, and the second is the ability to remove comfortable with your emotions so that you can react in a constructive way during arguments or perceived attacks.
Quick Stress Relief
If you want to stay balanced and focused despite the challenges in your life, then you need to improve your ability to manage and relieve stress. The moment that you fail to stay centered and in control, chances are high that you will become overwhelmed in situations of conflict, which will affect the quality of your response. If you often feel tense or tight in your body, then stress is a significant problem in your life.
Emotional awareness helps you understand yourself and others better. If you don’t know how you feel, you won’t be able to resolve the conflicts in your life amicably. Conflict resolution calls for effective communication. Understanding your feelings might seem like a simple process, but many people ignore strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. Your connection to these feelings will determine how you ultimately handle conflict. If you are afraid of strong emotions, then your ability to resolve differences in a dispute will be impaired.
Conflict Resolution and Non-Verbal Communication
When you are in the midst of conflict, the most critical information is exchanged non-verbally. When people become angry, the words, they use rarely convey the deep issues of their heart. To connect with your feelings, you need to learn to listen to what is being said, as well as what is being felt. This kind of listening can inform you, strengthen you, and make it a bit easier for other people to hear you. When you are in the midst of conflict, you need to pay close attention to the non-verbal communication that is expressed by the other person. This can help you figure out what they are really saying, which in turn allows you to respond in a manner that helps build trust and get to the root of the problem. Emotionally intelligent people have a better chance of success in resolving conflicts because they can put themselves in the shoes of the other party.
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